First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
