hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
