We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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