This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
