sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
