Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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