idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize