im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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