Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
