I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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