she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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