Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
