So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
