I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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