When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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