So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
