I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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