Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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