just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
