Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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