im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
