I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
