Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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