how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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