Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
