Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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