Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
