We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
