whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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