Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
