Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
