I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How external is "for external use only"?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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