don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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