She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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