I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is it because I queefed?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
