The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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