just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
