i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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