I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
