How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize