We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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