I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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