: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Will you blow on my dice?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
