You're so nebulous sometimes
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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