Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
