so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
