i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
