i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
