True but thats because hes a fetus.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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