That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
