Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
