textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
