So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
