Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
