Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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