i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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