On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
nutella sex= disaster
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
