East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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