The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
