I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
