Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he had hair everywhere except his balls
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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